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The Big Stupid Review

Archives

01-07-2010
Injustice for All by D. E. Fredd
The Polysyllogistic Curse by Gary J. Shipley
How It's Done by Anjoli Roy
Ghost Dance by Connor Caddigan
Two in a Van by Pavlo Kravchenko
01-04-2010
Uncreated Creatures by Connor Caddigan
Invisible by Anjoli Roy
One of Us by Sonia Ramos Rossi
Storyteller by Alan McCormick
01-01-2010
Idolatry by Robert Smith
P H I L E M A T O P H I L I A by Traci Chee
They Do! by Al Po
10-15-2009
Love Fwd'd On by Chris Vaughan
The The Theft of the Magi by Gregory Anthony Schneider
Sam Edwine Gets That All-Important Publishing Contract, and Decides What the Key Word of His Book Shall Be by Tom Bradley
07-01-2009
Notes on a New Financial Year by Chris Vaughan
The Diddling of the Immensity by Thor Garcia
The Right Woman by Roger Castle
07-01-2009
Mawlawchee by Ben Drinen
06-01-2009
Successful P's by Chris Vaughan
Excerpt from Dear Vito by Mickey Z.
As the Song Goes by Ryan McBride
05-01-2009
Menage a Deux by Hugh Fox
Maybe I'm Stupid by Steven Schutzman
04-01-2009
Americans vs. Aneurysms by Eli Richardson
Application For The Chaparral Writers Society by John-Ivan Palmer
03-01-2009
Swearing: A Bedtime Story by John Grochalski
Excerpt from Dear Vito by Mickey Z.
01-01-2009
Two Pauls by Warren Buckles
Moments by Christopher Hart
12-01-2008
The Waiting by Brian Alan Ellis
Symphony #1: Roger Castleman by John Grochalski
11-01-2008
A Splinter from the Devil's Mirror by Bryn Greenwood
Between You and the Man-Sized Prophylactic with the Zipper by Tom Bradley
Chief by Warren Buckles
09-01-2008
Routine by Felipe de Oliveira
Automatic Transmission by Warren Buckles
08-01-2008
The Axiom of Choice by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2008
A Pleasure Jaunt with One of the Sex Workers Who Don’t Exist in the People’s Republic of China by Tom Bradley
Making the Switch by George Sparling
06-01-2008
The War Prayer by Mark Twain
05-01-2008
About the Dog by Robert Aqunio Dollesin
04-01-2008
The Coup by Peter Schoenau
03-01-2008
Art School by Zach Plague
Consitutional Puppies by JR
02-01-2008
Selection from The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrope by Kane X. Faucher
Party Pooper from Make Me by Eli Richardson
Una Noche Perfecta para Sanguijuelas por Jim Chaffee (tr. Sonia Ramos Rossi)
01-01-2008
A Night in Cameroon by Kelly Jameson
Missile by Jason Jordan
Full TEX Archive
Side Photo for The Big Stupid Review

Excerpt from Dear Vito

By Mickey Z.

"Oh my God, Samantha, you are fuckin' incredible!"

eat more dill

Hemming's eyes are closed tightly now and he has no idea that Davey has entered the room. In his left hand, Davey holds the remote control to the stereo. In his right hand, Davey holds an open can of Drano (not sure where he found it but hey…). Aiming the clicker to increase the volume of the music just as Samantha intensifies her oral ministrations, causing Hemming to open wide in a bellow of passion. Davey drops the remote and rubs himself before pouring the entire contents of the Drano can into Hemming's open mouth.

Hemming begins to gasp, choke, and scream in utter agony. However, it is all drowned out when Davey grabs the remote and clicks the volume up a few more notches. Samantha continues to fellate Hemming as Davey calmly watches the display of tortuous pain. On the TV, Ruth St. Ruth (remember her from CPR for Dummies?) is seen lying naked in a bed of one hundred dollar bills.

Hemming spits blood to the ceiling and begs for mercy, his body straining and tugging at the handcuffs to no avail. He stares directly at Davey, his plea for help nothing more than a silent mouthing of words while Samantha's head bobs up and down between his legs like a piston. With one last sorrowful look towards Samantha, Hemming dies.

Samantha doesn't even notice. She is lost now in a netherworld of sexual deviance and she continues her oral assault on Hemming's still-erect member. As Davey begins to unzip his pants, the thugs inch towards the room, guns drawn. They kick in the door.

Two bullets strike Davey in the head and chest. He is propelled backward by the force, bounces off the far wall and then back towards the bed until his dead body lands crossways on Hemming's chest. One of the thugs yanks Samantha away from Hemming's crotch by her hair. The other thug turns off the stereo. The TV can now be heard.

"You can stop now, hon."

"But he didn't come yet," Samantha pleads, straining violently to get her lips back down between Hemming's lifeless thighs.

"I'm sure you're good, baby," the thug chuckles, "but not that good. This one is a lost cause. Now take a walk before you get yourself in more trouble."

march or die

Samantha, dazed and covered in Davey's blood, pulls on her dress and leaves.

© Mickey Z. 2008