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12-01-2008
The Waiting by Brian Alan Ellis
Symphony #1: Roger Castleman by John Grochalski
11-01-2008
A Splinter from the Devil's Mirror by Bryn Greenwood
Between You and the Man-Sized Prophylactic with the Zipper by Tom Bradley
Chief by Warren Buckles
09-01-2008
Routine by Felipe de Oliveira
Automatic Transmission by Warren Buckles
08-01-2008
The Axiom of Choice by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2008
A Pleasure Jaunt with One of the Sex Workers Who Don’t Exist in the People’s Republic of China by Tom Bradley
Making the Switch by George Sparling
06-01-2008
The War Prayer by Mark Twain
05-01-2008
About the Dog by Robert Aqunio Dollesin
04-01-2008
The Coup by Peter Schoenau
03-01-2008
Art School by Zach Plague
Consitutional Puppies by JR
02-01-2008
Selection from The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrope by Kane X. Faucher
Party Pooper from Make Me by Eli Richardson
Una Noche Perfecta para Sanguijuelas por Jim Chaffee (tr. Sonia Ramos Rossi)
01-01-2008
A Night in Cameroon by Kelly Jameson
Missile by Jason Jordan
12-01-2007
Nothing by J.R.
Sacrament by Sonia Ramos Rossi
11-01-2007
Green Mountain Incumbent by D E Fredd
When Pacino's Hot, I'm Hot by Robert Levin
10-01-2007
The Book of Ancient Wisdom by Hugh Fox
09-01-2007
Dog Days by Robert Levin
Junk-Pure by Forrest Armstrong
08-01-2007
Beefsteak Mistake, Jake by Kelly Jameson
Sand by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2007
How to Make a Baby by Robert Levin
A Rude Little Monkey by Kelly Jameson
06-01-2007
Revolver by Sandra Ramos Rossi
Brian and Mona by Jim Chaffee
05-01-2007
El Castrator by Thomas Head
04-01-2007
Alone, As Always by Jennifer Gardner
03-01-2007
Polar Regions by Gayla Chaney
02-01-2007
Two Stories of Sex Beyond Erotica: Editor's Introduction by Jim Chaffee
Photo Finish by Anya Wassenberg
Mephisto and Me by Lily Edwards
01-01-2007
Management Case Study 17: Down East Chicken by D. E. Fredd
MoM by David Quinn
Full TEX Archive
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Rock Stars in Particular Order - 4

By Alana Nöel Voth

Butterfly in blue flower

As a model, Ella does lingerie catalogs and posters for beer.

There’s a thing called Meet and Greet after concerts, backstage. You have to have the right credentials. Like a pretty face, big boobs, a pass. People with a pass get autographs. When those people can’t get to the band anymore they see Ella, and their eyes shine. "You’re with the band?" Actually, Kaye knows the band. Ella knows Kaye.

Ella has a modeling agent now.

No more postcards from Phil. Anyway, she hadn’t fucked him or anything like it.

Phil plays guitar. She keeps the postcards he sends her, including the one that says, "You’re special. You didn’t fuck me. We talked. Fantastic."

In Kort’s apartment, on a bed with tossed sheets and big pillows, she’s scared. Ella’s intimidated. She lies there shaking and waiting for him to bestow his magic on her body and soul. Kort rolls Ella on her back, spreads her thighs with his hand, and then fucks her—no serenade.

Kort puts Whitesnake on the tape deck and rolls down the car windows. Wind blows through her hair. He sings, "Here I Go Again." No idea where she’s headed next or what he’ll do with her.

     He says, "Why you here, doll?"

     Ella clasps her hands in her lap. "What do you mean?"

     Kort takes a corner at top speed. Butterflies in her stomach.

     He explains: "Shy girl alone with me. Aren’t you scared?"

Kurt Cobain in blue flower

Kort Black, singer for Well Known Cover Band, singles her out while he’s performing on stage in a nightclub. He says, "This one’s for you," and then sings a cover of "Heaven Isn’t Too Far Away."

Ella and her best friend Kaye drink Seagram’s Seven. Kaye passes the bottle. Ella drinks deeply. Then she jabs herself in the hand and watches the tiniest flowers of blood open between her life and love lines. Blood sisters. Ella and Kaye sit knee-to-knee in Ella’s studio apartment. Ella hasn’t got a TV, a car, or a phone. She has one box of clothes, three dozen cassette tapes, and a stereo.

Kaye shows Ella how to dress: Skirt, fishnet stockings, and stilettos. They have contests to see which of them can tease their hair highest. One night at a party, a guy Ella’s never seen before arrives with a guitar. He sings a song by Styx, and she flips.

Ella meets Kaye, who looks like Tawny Kitaen.

Danny breaks Ella’s heart. Anyway, he never started his band.

She removes her jeans; lies back on the carpet; opens her legs; wraps her arms around Danny’s neck; pushes her lips to his forehead and then tries not to scream when it hurts.

The Colorado sky is bone-cold blue; slivers of ice make the road shiny. Danny’s parents are gone for the weekend. Plumes of breath ring Ella’s head as she steps from the car and then locks it. She walks to the front door. Inside, she sits on the floor. Danny says, "Soon as I finish school I’m starting a band." Then he says, "You should be a model. Rock stars like models."

Sex dream. Water. Bret Michaels, lead singer for Poison, stands waist-deep in the surf, and Ella has her legs around him. She doesn’t fuck the rock star. They bob naked in the water instead. She kisses his fingers. Comes in her sleep.

Ella writes this in her notebook during History: "Like a Super Nova when a rock star takes the stage. He’s like Jesus. Powerful. Beautiful. Special. Not like me."

Her new stepmother drives Ella to school in a Camero and plays bands she’s never heard before on the car stereo, Poison and Motley Crue. Ella plugs her ears. Stares at the road.

Ella’s dad has long hair to his shoulders; he smokes cigarettes and rides a motorcycle. On a wall in the garage, her dad has hung a poster of Christie Brinkley. Ella’s dad has girlfriends, curvaceous blondes. She hears him with one in the bedroom once. Her dad plays records: Journey, Cheap Trick, and Styx. She watches him from where she sits on the floor as he waters the plants that grow in pots all over the living room. A guy from Styx sings, "Babe, I’m leaving, must be on my way." She competes with her dad’s girlfriends for attention.

Old Vietnamese woman, Saigon

© Alana Nöel Voth 2006