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The Big Stupid Review

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11-01-2008
A Splinter from the Devil's Mirror by Bryn Greenwood
Between You and the Man-Sized Prophylactic with the Zipper by Tom Bradley
Chief by Warren Buckles
09-01-2008
Routine by Felipe de Oliveira
Automatic Transmission by Warren Buckles
08-01-2008
The Axiom of Choice by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2008
A Pleasure Jaunt with One of the Sex Workers Who Don’t Exist in the People’s Republic of China by Tom Bradley
Making the Switch by George Sparling
06-01-2008
The War Prayer by Mark Twain
05-01-2008
About the Dog by Robert Aqunio Dollesin
04-01-2008
The Coup by Peter Schoenau
03-01-2008
Art School by Zach Plague
Consitutional Puppies by JR
02-01-2008
Selection from The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrope by Kane X. Faucher
Party Pooper from Make Me by Eli Richardson
Una Noche Perfecta para Sanguijuelas por Jim Chaffee (tr. Sonia Ramos Rossi)
01-01-2008
A Night in Cameroon by Kelly Jameson
Missile by Jason Jordan
12-01-2007
Nothing by J.R.
Sacrament by Sonia Ramos Rossi
11-01-2007
Green Mountain Incumbent by D E Fredd
When Pacino's Hot, I'm Hot by Robert Levin
10-01-2007
The Book of Ancient Wisdom by Hugh Fox
09-01-2007
Dog Days by Robert Levin
Junk-Pure by Forrest Armstrong
08-01-2007
Beefsteak Mistake, Jake by Kelly Jameson
Sand by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2007
How to Make a Baby by Robert Levin
A Rude Little Monkey by Kelly Jameson
06-01-2007
Revolver by Sandra Ramos Rossi
Brian and Mona by Jim Chaffee
05-01-2007
El Castrator by Thomas Head
04-01-2007
Alone, As Always by Jennifer Gardner
03-01-2007
Polar Regions by Gayla Chaney
02-01-2007
Two Stories of Sex Beyond Erotica: Editor's Introduction by Jim Chaffee
Photo Finish by Anya Wassenberg
Mephisto and Me by Lily Edwards
01-01-2007
Management Case Study 17: Down East Chicken by D. E. Fredd
MoM by David Quinn
Full TEX Archive
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Perfect Night For Leeches - Part 1

By Jim Chaffee.

One of those nights. Winter monsoon. Fucking rain so heavy flares up behind the Marble Mountains barely glowed, their phosphorescent trails wavering in the dense atmosphere like fading memories of youth.

We were exploding leeches. We’d collected them from a bunch of Marines who’d spent most of the last twenty-four hours bleeding in a paddy somewhere around An Hoa, or maybe near Hill 10. Maybe in the Go Noi. Didn’t make a rat’s ass to us where they’d been. A surprise they’d been able to medevac them at all, with the rain so fucking heavy. We stabilized the poor bastards, got them out of triage and off to surgery. All the time carefully collecting the leaches we’d picked off them, for later.

Now was leech time. Injecting the chambered bodies with acetone and lighting them, watching them explode in a mass of dark tissue and human blood. Living bombs.

Morrison came down to join us, an off-duty insomniac with no place to go. He slept only a couple hours a night, often wandering in late to see what interesting events he could become part of. The youngest corpsman in triage, he had more time in, mostly reserve, and liked to be called Pappy. Hardly anyone called him that. He looked like a kid.

A shit-load of explosions and small arms fire blasted the tedium, red and white star clusters and trails of tracers arcing into the dense night like fireworks in the deluge, all of it from near the big mountain, the one the Marines called The Chin Strap for its profile. Nui Thuy Son to the Vietnamese. It sat on the beach, on the ocean side of the battalion road. We guessed an attack on the CAP unit on the far side of the Marble Mountains but were wrong. We got a call for an ambulance.

Morrison grabbed the call, pissing me off.

At least he wore boots and utilities. One night I’d grabbed a call in flip-flops, shorts and a T-shirt, dressed like I was going to the beach. I showed up at the dump at the foot of Nui Tho Son, the Marble Mountain the Marine’s called The Crow’s Nest, a stark, naked rock outcropping rising straight up out of the sandy earth opposite the road from The Chin Strap. An ANGLICO spotter team and their 106 recoilless rifle perched on top, unseen in the night.

Actually we were near the beach, but the Marines had set up a perimeter and a bunch of guys wearing flak-jackets and helmets ran around with M-16s locked and loaded. One of those jeep pick-ups blazed like a beacon, bathing five figures scattered in the sand around it in the vagaries of firelight. From the color of their belts I could tell they were Navy, not Marines, probably security for the Seabee camp just beside the dump.

I heard someone mutter “Fucking crazy corpsman” when I hopped out of the cracker-box ambulance, dressed as I was, unarmed, with only a unit one, warily eyeing the burning truck. Helicopter gunships searched the base of The Crow’s Nest with spotlights. A couple fancy leather belts, not your standard issue web belts, smoldered in the dirt beside the flaming truck, cooking off .45 rounds. Flares drifting earthward on parachutes swaying like lamps hanging from the clouds cast a flickering luminescence over the whole scene. Shadows mutated to the rhythm of their swinging descent. The reek of cordite peppered with the pungency of scorched hair and flesh hung in the air.

Didn’t make much difference, my being there. I could see by the flare light they were a hopeless mess. Burned and staring fish-eyed at the sky, except one guy who continued to breathe, a little fire burning inside the cavity in his chest. I figured it made no sense to work on him. His bladder let loose while I stood watching, backing up my silent argument. A crowd of onlookers encouraged me to save the wounded, as if I were a god. I gave them my best I’m sorry expression and muttered “Forget it.”