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09-01-2012
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2011
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
02-01-2011
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2010
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher By Maurice Stoker
06-01-2010
Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party By Boozer Allan Hamilton
04-15-2010
Keith Olbermann Freaks Out Pig Bodine By Pig Bodine
06-15-2009
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme By Pig Bodine
05-15-2009
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me By Maurice Stoker
12-15-2008
Two Glad Tidings from The Marshall By Marshall Smith
11-01-2008
Sarah Palin's Party of God By Maurice Stoker
09-15-2008
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome By Kane X. Faucher
07-15-2008
At the Airport By Tom Bradley
05-01-2008
Building the Perfect Weapon By Thomas Sullivan
04-01-2008
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
03-01-2008
Pig Bodine's Funky Financial Cooze Network Topological Finance for Aging Bald Dudes By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2007
Un Mensaje Navideño del Director General Por Sandra Ramos Rossi
Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
11-01-2007
Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
10-01-2007
Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
08-01-2007
The Unexamined Life in Hell: Peregrinations Across The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2007
Presidential Politics in the Year of the Toad by Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.
04-01-2007
An Eleventh Tonkin Scenario by Donald Dickerson
03-01-2007
The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2006
Maurice Stoker On Writing a Prize Winning Best Seller by Maurice Stoker
11-01-2006
¿Study says lack of talent? by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
08-01-2006
US Cracks International Terrorist Ring by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2006
Pig Bodine Solves the US Immigration and Education Dilemmas in One Blow by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
05-01-2006
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon by Maurice Stoker
Full PAM Archive
Side Photo for spooky Action At A Distance
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership
By Jim Chaffee. Texas has developed a textbook to teach economics and finance to America's future consumers at the end of middleschool before they drop out of school. Read the first review of this innovative new text which contrasts Adam Smith's misguided notions of true capitalism versus Andrew Carnegie's cogent outline for economic behavior in his classic "The Gospel of Wealth." more...
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz
By Jim Chaffee. Finally Hollywood has made the definitive war epoch of our time. A film that puts into proper perspective the US role as a military superpower in the late 20th century. More, it presages the US mission as peacekeeper and maintainer of order in the 21st century. We refer to the heroic actions of the US Navy in the Persian Gulf, in the Strait of Hormuz, on 3 July 1988. The film is entitled The Battle of Hormuz Strait. It recounts a heroic encounter between the forces of good and evil that too many Americans have forgotten or never learned. more...
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher
By Maurice Stoker. Once again I am torn from my fairyland of gleet to review for the loutish Drill Press. On this occassion none other than Pig Bodine himself, wearing U. S. Navy enlisted dress blues (gabardine, not the issue thick wool cracker jack outfit) with insignia of BM2 and tar flap collar adorned with the doctoral regalia colors of his economics PhD lined in the glorious hues of his third rate university (or maybe just some afterthought from hell), an SP armband affixed to his right upper arm. How this lunatic escaped his asylum is anyone's guess, but he shows up and pulls me from the gloryhole in the Yokosuka O Club after whacking with his billy club a couple ithyphallic knot-hole protrusions, lovely boles both, to which I was in alternate attendence. Unceremoniously handcuffed, no less, and instead of a brutal sexual assault locked into a hotel room with a book (The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by one Kane X. Faucher), a pad of cheap yellow paper and a handful of ecru wooden number two pencils with blunt writing leads. more...
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me
By Maurice Stoker. I'm leading a tour of fellow literary professionals. Writers, editors, publishers, and agents. Lots of agents. A tour for a clutch of charities. A service tour of the glory holes of Europe. Western Europe. We do the US and Canada later in the year.
It seems that with Cheney and Bush Jr. having memoirs surreptitiously penned and to be published in the near future, they are both going to be with us on the US leg. I can't wait to see the Secret Service agents on their knees beside the former President and his Vice chowing down on anonymous wiener dogs protruding from holes in stark bathroom walls. Although I have been informed that SS will require all anonymous participants submit to short arm inspection and penile toivel, probably laving away the tasty smegma from around those few remaining lovely foreskins. more...
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting
By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA. I was amazed that thirty thousand people showed up for Rick Perry's prayer session to Baal in Houston. Though he didn't pack Reliant Stadium, I didn't realize there were so many Baal worshippers in Texas. more...
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome
By Kane X. Faucher. RUSSIA—Vladimir Putin announced today that the Russian Defense Department has recently unveiled their new line of kink-line weapons for the strategic defense of its frontier against US kink-line encroachment in Eastern Europe. more...
At the Airport
By Tom Bradley. There was no ready explanation for such a star's presence anywhere near our hopelessly benighted corner of the continent. It's not like our cow-shitty airstrip was a hub for Delta Airlines or anything. I was surprised to see no entourage fawning and fussing over this National Book Award winner. I was also curious as to why he wasn't scarfing the camembert hors d'oeuvres and champagne in the newly-built VIP Lounge, which would be otherwise deserted but for the members of the local Uncompahgre tribe, who'd recently gotten filthy rich building casinos on their reservation. more...
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme
By Pig Bodine. California fell for a Reagan scheme … sometimes called Reaganonics … not surprising given the old gasbag came from that fantasy land and governed it for a time before getting promoted to the Presidency. Reaganonics is a complex graft that can be carried on for decades given that three requirements are in play … but there's a significant difference between the Presidency and governorship of California when it comes to implementing the grift. more...
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism
By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA. This year's awardee is CNBC for their business day programming. This has led to some carping, as expected given the budget of network productions which only a handful of high schools are able to match. Notably, once again Palo Alto High School representatives complained that since the internet bubble deflated they have suffered more draconian budget cuts than NBC. Of course, this reflects the reality that overall the US stock markets never did return to their highs, most notably the embarrassing NASDAQ, with the S&P 500 just barely making it back before retreating.
One pundit noted that perhaps the award was based more on nostalgia than accomplishment as the judges transported back to their own high school days, particularly given the cast of prom characters from king and queen to chaperones, plain Janes, and generally smiling, frothy, empty bobbleheads. Not to mention the advertisements with the likes of Sam Waterson describing software allowing individual traders to lose money automatically buying high and selling low based on models they don't understand, as well as hysterical former hippie Dennis Hopper ranting that it is possible by careful planning to live more extravagantly in retirement than one ever lived while working. more...
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon
By Maurice Stoker. Given the climate of black-and-whitism about these days, let me confess I be a fan of Mr. Pynchon’s, having enjoyed in particular all his odd-numbered novels (anent this sequence more later, assuming this labyrinthine geodesic of aberrant mentality doesn’t cross the Rio Lethe). But there exist a pair of gaffs in Mason and Dixon more than mere flubs, given the duality of their pairing: one a spatial riff in the fabric of words, the other a temporal anomaly, an anachronism if you will, both mathematical to boot. These be nothing if not planned, part of the thread worming words into the very nature of space-time in all its curved fecundity; more than miscues of a mere mortal.
That is to wit first the stogie incident amidst chapter thirty-four (almost dead center!) in which a twisted cheroot (in a loose sense of the word) produces a smoak Möbius band. What horrible confusion to even the most moderately informed of readers! The would-be Toroidal smoak ring twisted via the quotient topology must emanate as smoak Klein bottle, not smoak Möbius band; as all those with a modicum of education (through only an elementary course in General Topology) know that the quotient space of a cylinder with reversed boundary identification becomes Klein bottle, the Möbius band rather the quotient space resulting from reversed boundary identification of rectangle. more...