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09-01-2012
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2011
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
02-01-2011
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2010
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher By Maurice Stoker
06-01-2010
Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party By Boozer Allan Hamilton
04-15-2010
Keith Olbermann Freaks Out Pig Bodine By Pig Bodine
06-15-2009
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme By Pig Bodine
05-15-2009
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me By Maurice Stoker
12-15-2008
Two Glad Tidings from The Marshall By Marshall Smith
11-01-2008
Sarah Palin's Party of God By Maurice Stoker
09-15-2008
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome By Kane X. Faucher
07-15-2008
At the Airport By Tom Bradley
05-01-2008
Building the Perfect Weapon By Thomas Sullivan
04-01-2008
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
03-01-2008
Pig Bodine's Funky Financial Cooze Network Topological Finance for Aging Bald Dudes By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2007
Un Mensaje Navideño del Director General Por Sandra Ramos Rossi
Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
11-01-2007
Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
10-01-2007
Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
08-01-2007
The Unexamined Life in Hell: Peregrinations Across The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2007
Presidential Politics in the Year of the Toad by Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.
04-01-2007
An Eleventh Tonkin Scenario by Donald Dickerson
03-01-2007
The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2006
Maurice Stoker On Writing a Prize Winning Best Seller by Maurice Stoker
11-01-2006
¿Study says lack of talent? by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
08-01-2006
US Cracks International Terrorist Ring by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2006
Pig Bodine Solves the US Immigration and Education Dilemmas in One Blow by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
05-01-2006
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon by Maurice Stoker
Full PAM Archive
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Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party

Editor's note: Given that Hamilton's mongrel patois of Brazilian Portuguese, English and French is worse than usual, almost unreadable in fact, and that we are not certain of the whereabouts of either Bodine or Hamilton, Maurice Stoker has grudgingly edited this correspondence for readability and grammar. The operative word is grudgingly.

I have held back from tossing into the ring my two cents on the matter of BP and the gushing well in the Gulf of Mexico, but I can no longer hold my piece. Part of my reason to hold back is I have not wanted to demonstrate that Dick Armey, Rand Paul, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Sharron Angle, Mike Lee, Joe Barton and other members of Tea Party are correct in the approach to this problem.

Firstly of all, BP ought not to be paying one red cent to anyone for anything. Not for loss of life, not for damage on the coast or waters, not for any parts of it. Period. In fact, they ought not be attempting to stop the well gushing; after all, the well will run out of oil in some time. Rather, they ought to pull out of there and drill elsewhere. After all, they are not making money on this damned well, so they need to abandon it. Free market economics says their job is to make money for their shareholders, not stop a out of control well and help a bunch of cry-baby losers. Let The Market take care of it. This is the problem for the raghead Bobby Jindal and the coonasses down there along the coast, and I say to fuck them if they can't take a joke. Economics teaches us that The Market will take of this in the long run, but only if we free The Market! Even with deaths, is exactly what Rand Paul says: Shit happens.

Secondwise, Federal Government of US ought not pay a red cent to anyone either. They ought to stay completely uninvolved of it. This is state's problem. After all, whose coast it is? Not North Dakota's, unless I am amiss in my geography. This is problem for those states directly affected, namley Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, and whosoever else finds oil on their coastlines. They responsibility taking care of this. If they cannot be doing it, then let The Market handle it. In fact, is best solution do nothing and let The Market handling it. Some entrepeneur will find way to make money on this, ok? And if taxpayer money is wasted on this "pollution problem," it will be bailout and redistribution of wealth. Same as building dykes in New Orleans. Let city flood or let the peoples living there make dykes. If peoples don't like floods or oils on beaches and marshes, then move away. From my own personal experiences, Louisiana is a shit hole anyhow and only idiots living there.

In truth, BP and other companies ought be able drill wherever they choose offshore or onshore, period. I suggest any restriction over where they might drill is interfering with private propertys. Nor should they be forced to clean up afterward. Same goes for any mineral or resource extractions. If they acquire mineral rights to what buried beneath your backyard, then they ought be digging or drilling or blasting for whatever. Once finished, they ought move on. It is another's responsibility to "clean up" if what they want is cleaned up land.

Same reasoning applied to Arizona. I mean, exactly where is this fucking border? Is in Arizona and immigration problem is local state issue. So state ought be able to deal with it theirselves, first by securing border and second by passing laws checking for and arresting illegals from places like Mexico, Britain, Germany, Brazil, France, Japan, etc. And further, if any citizens of those nations who are legally staying in Arizona are injured, then that nation has rights under international laws for sending troops to Arizona to protect their citizens, which includes the right to arrest and extradite officials of state who are responsible for injuring and imprisoning the citizens. Moreover, the US has no right or responsibility to send troops to stop those nations from pursuing their rights under international law. It is solely state right's issue.

In fact, laws regarding immigration are demonstrably one reason for problems with functioning of The Market in US and internationally. Are not such laws infringement on free market principles, just as are absurd and ludicrous laws against prostitution, marijuana and other "illegal" drugs, gambling, "child abuse," rape, robbery, extortion, kidnapping, fraud, and murder, among others? If The Market is to function free there can exist no laws of prohibition. Nothing ought be prohibited and illegal, period. After all, The Market takes care of all things. Our own researches has demonstrated beyond any question that all prohibiting-law weakens the actions of The Market. In fact, our researches has shown how directly to measure the weaking effect of prohibitions. In the proper limit, there ought be no prohibiting bodies, which means no nations and no governments at all, only The Market, and in the absence of such antique heavy hands, we would see no war (since only nations wage war) and no borders so no illegal aliens.

These are totally rational Tea Party positions. Listen to them, dumbasses. They want bring you better world by freeing The Market.

Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.

June 25, 2010

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Photo of bear on Hillsboro Peak by Mark Johnson © Mark Johnson 2010

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