Home Page Photo

Journal Of Precognitive Memories

Archives

09-01-2012
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2011
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
02-01-2011
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2010
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher By Maurice Stoker
06-01-2010
Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party By Boozer Allan Hamilton
04-15-2010
Keith Olbermann Freaks Out Pig Bodine By Pig Bodine
06-15-2009
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme By Pig Bodine
05-15-2009
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me By Maurice Stoker
12-15-2008
Two Glad Tidings from The Marshall By Marshall Smith
11-01-2008
Sarah Palin's Party of God By Maurice Stoker
09-15-2008
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome By Kane X. Faucher
07-15-2008
At the Airport By Tom Bradley
05-01-2008
Building the Perfect Weapon By Thomas Sullivan
04-01-2008
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
03-01-2008
Pig Bodine's Funky Financial Cooze Network Topological Finance for Aging Bald Dudes By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2007
Un Mensaje Navideño del Director General Por Sandra Ramos Rossi
Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
11-01-2007
Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
10-01-2007
Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
08-01-2007
The Unexamined Life in Hell: Peregrinations Across The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2007
Presidential Politics in the Year of the Toad by Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.
04-01-2007
An Eleventh Tonkin Scenario by Donald Dickerson
03-01-2007
The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2006
Maurice Stoker On Writing a Prize Winning Best Seller by Maurice Stoker
11-01-2006
¿Study says lack of talent? by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
08-01-2006
US Cracks International Terrorist Ring by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2006
Pig Bodine Solves the US Immigration and Education Dilemmas in One Blow by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
05-01-2006
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon by Maurice Stoker
Full PAM Archive
Side Photo for Journal of Precognitive Memories

Sarah Palin's Party of God

For the last several weeks I've lurked deep undercover, passed off as one of the myriad inhabitants of the idiot fringe (formerly lunatic fringe), there being so many of them (particularly the "journalists") that no one can can tell who's who anyway. Shacking up with a Palin staffer is no picnic, especially when he thinks you're one of them. Those people are downright scary. When you're boinking a gay male staffer playing straight, they're terrifying.

However, the undercover bit panned out, as they say. I gleaned inside dope the media is either not privy to or is not publicizing. For one thing, Sarah Palin is no diva. She can't even sing, and certainly not with the quality of a real diva like, say, Kathleen Battle or Jessye Norman (who can?). But she does think of herself as Joan of Wasilla.

She has been chosen by God. She says in a vision while hunting grizzly bear on Kodiak Island, God appeared in a hair suit and told her he had chosen her to lead His people out of the corrupted and degenerate Republican Party. According to God, the Republicans have lined up on the side of the Godless eggheads and turned to Godless science for their defense and to Godless socialism for their economic policy, beginning with the faithless Ronald Reagan who consulted astrologers and became a closet socialist. She must lead God's people out from the midst of these backsliding heathens and start a new party, the American Party of God.

God explained economics to her with examples, which she can almost grasp. As in: there must be no interference in His Free Marketplace. So the state cannot provide unemployment insurance, since that is market interference. If there is to be any such insurance, it must be offered for profit by private corporations. Otherwise it ought not exist. The same is certainly true of defense, which must be private enterprise venture with no government funding. God will provide. That is what the Republican Party has forgotten. God will provide for His people through the Free Market, and that includes God providing for the national defense. He did tell her that Adam Smith's The Wealth of Nations and The Theory of Moral Sentiments aer inspired by Him and need to be appended to the Bible.

God stressed that it is essential to bypass egghead-infested bureaucracies. The CIA and FBI, among others, must be dismantled. The USPS ought to be responsible for national security. This extension of its purpose dovetails perfectly with the delivery of mail without adding eggheads. Moreover, anyone believing pi is not three is a deluded heathen. Ditto for the earth revolving around the sun. That is flat wrong.

God also made it clear that there exist acceptable media pundits: those who are not eggheads, who have finessed the education game without learning a thing. It is especially important to remain free of that infestation called logic, an insidious manifestation of the human brain. Dependence on logical reasoning is why so much science is wrong. While there is a surfeit of pundits to whom she can listen because their ceremonial certification is without depth, it remains essential to steer clear of people with degrees in science or mathematics; even engineers are suspect. Economics degrees are safe so long as they do not go beyond the undergraduate level, since nothing is taught at that level in the US anyway. Degrees in history, politicial science, business, journalism and that ilk tend to be safe, as they have no intellectual content at any level. And of course there are always those who are simply uneducable, like Rush Limbaugh, a perfect choice for Grand Vizier.

Supposedly Sarah cried out to God that His people would be too small to win elections, but God told her not to be afraid. Though a minority, He would multiply their votes to overcome any majority. That He could make even one vote win an election, no matter what multiple voted in opposition. That he had given Bush Junior his two elections in just such a fashion, as a test which the hardnecked, backsliding little chimp had failed.

He also told her to keep on truckin', that she was a jangly little filly and would do His people proud.

I wanted to ask which God Sarah had spoken to, since God is a title, not a name. Like Mister or Doctor or Dude. But I bit my lip. I didn't bring up Dan Quayle, either.

But hey, maybe she did talk to God. Who the hell am I to say she didn't? The key is to see where the Grand Old Party goes, whoever wins this election coming up in just a few days.

And I did come away understanding Palin's opposition to abortion in the case of rape: if the Gospel's are correct, then Jesus was the progeny of a rape. Seems that old Yahweh or Jehovah or whoever was God in the immediate pre-Christian times picked up some tricks from Zeus.

Maurice Stoker from somewhere out in the US intellectual wasteland

perhaps a photo of God

© The Drill Press 2008

Back to Journal Of Precognitive Memories Home