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- Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
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- Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
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- Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
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Notes to Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties
by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
1 – Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc.
2 – Luis de Suello. Born in Brooklyn, New York. Began using protoplasmic flash at fifteen, which is remarkably young for the drug – most addicts didn't start shooting until their twenties. Such is the nature of the substance. A flash addict couldn't possibly maintain an education (or, generally, a job, for that matter) while using. De Suello died at twenty-five from causes that were never officially declared but which Nail elaborates on later.
3 – Seems this is a disease anyone who leaves this island contracts. Nail and I grew up together in this place, and somehow ended up in America. The details are gone. Not hazy. They simply vanished.
4 – Protoplasmic flash was discovered in 1924 by a doctor named Brandon Daniels from the island mentioned in footnote 3. He was trying to exploit grillo for medicinal purposes. Having always been an experimental scientist in approach, he ingested the substance himself upon its discovery and experienced faint hallucinogenic properties to no medical effect. This was noted and ignored, but his laboratory was raided upon the publication of the paper he wrote detailing his findings and the substance was stolen. Someone, desperate for a form of escape, shot it in the vein. The hallucinations were several times stronger than those of LSD.
Flash surfaced in Europe next, a few years after Daniel's initial discovery. In fact, it's common myth to the intellects of the flash world that Spanish painter Salvador Dali painted his famous "Portrait of Paul Eluard" while experimenting with the drug – an unlikely story, as Dali himself claims to have used no drugs during his life except for a singular experiment with hash. He also has famously remarked, "I don't do drugs, I am drugs5."
5 – (written by Nail): Probably complete rubbish – about Dali painting that canvas on flash – nevertheless, "Portrait of Paul Eluard" is a good visual representation of a flash trip.
6 – Comparable to a human appendix.
7 – There is no scientific explanation for this.
8 – Mephobarbital — Has both sedative and anticonvulsant effects. This is where Pat Swanza's (mentioned later in this document) barbiturate withdrawal symptoms came from, as stoppage of the drug, if not handled carefully, can cause streaks of seizures (as well as the reported tremors and sweats). The drug is an effective tranquilizer and is partly responsible for the mellow and euphoric effects of euphotan. Mephobarbital combined with alcohol with increase the alcohol's effects, and as many euphotan users have been drinking at clubs or bars in addition to taking the drug, this has been one very dangerous aspect of euphotan if not properly monitored.
Meperidine — Has characteristics of a pain reliever in many ways, as well as a calming effect and a temporary relief to depression (though this can interact differently with different users and in many cases, after prolonged use, the pleasant effects of the drug are actually replaced with depression). In some cases, meperidine may cause hallucinations and delirium, which, working with the protoplasmic flash, may amplify the "trip" of euphotan. Meperidine has a unique ability to bring users out of a PCP psychosis. The drug is an opioid, and while not as strong as, say, heroin or opium, does belong to the same class and has similar characteristics on several levels. (Miller, Richard L. The Encyclopedia of Addictive Drugs. Westport, Connecticut: Greenwood P, 2002).
9 – Eric Starks, former flash addict who agreed to work as an informer instead of serving jail time.
10 – The mephobarbital is responsible for this.
11 – Both pentothal and sodium amytal lower the barrier between the conscious and the subconscious mind. Pentothal has been used on several occasions to extract confessions. (Huxley, Aldous. Brave New World Revisited. New York: Bantam Books, 1958). With these drugs in the system it is easier to penetrate the user, as well as for the information encoded in these "data-strips" – pro-war sentiments — to manifest as the users own thoughts. No doubt the remodeled euphotan would have been remarkably effective as a brainwashing tool and possibly even spurred an entirely new wave of thought in the underground.
12 – Within a month of completing this paper, Nail suffered a fatal overdose on protoplasmic flash.

© 2007
Grillo images by Jason Daniels © Jason Daniels 2007

