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Journal Of Precognitive Memories

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09-01-2012
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2011
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
02-01-2011
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2010
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher By Maurice Stoker
06-01-2010
Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party By Boozer Allan Hamilton
04-15-2010
Keith Olbermann Freaks Out Pig Bodine By Pig Bodine
06-15-2009
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme By Pig Bodine
05-15-2009
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me By Maurice Stoker
12-15-2008
Two Glad Tidings from The Marshall By Marshall Smith
11-01-2008
Sarah Palin's Party of God By Maurice Stoker
09-15-2008
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome By Kane X. Faucher
07-15-2008
At the Airport By Tom Bradley
05-01-2008
Building the Perfect Weapon By Thomas Sullivan
04-01-2008
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
03-01-2008
Pig Bodine's Funky Financial Cooze Network Topological Finance for Aging Bald Dudes By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2007
Un Mensaje Navideño del Director General Por Sandra Ramos Rossi
Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
11-01-2007
Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
10-01-2007
Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
08-01-2007
The Unexamined Life in Hell: Peregrinations Across The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2007
Presidential Politics in the Year of the Toad by Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.
04-01-2007
An Eleventh Tonkin Scenario by Donald Dickerson
03-01-2007
The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2006
Maurice Stoker On Writing a Prize Winning Best Seller by Maurice Stoker
11-01-2006
¿Study says lack of talent? by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
08-01-2006
US Cracks International Terrorist Ring by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2006
Pig Bodine Solves the US Immigration and Education Dilemmas in One Blow by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
05-01-2006
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon by Maurice Stoker
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Introduction to Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties

by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist

twisted

We received this communication from Maurice Stoker somewhere out in the netherlands (not the literal country but the symbolic idea, or so he writes). We considered printing his comments as received but thought better of it since they seemed to have come as an aberrant transmission. Perhaps his abeyant humanity clobbered him, but more likely his writing came under the influence of one of the many drugs he ingests for financial reasons. (For those who don't already know, Maurice is a freelance test pilot for both legit drug companies experimenting with the next mind-warping product for domestic control of a population kept under selected hallucination (you didn't think so many US citizens could simultaneously be rational and believe in their own freedom, did you?) and for professional underground designers with custom chemicals for inducing hyper-rational delusions or wild hallucinations. Of course, mathematicians and physicists tend to consume the former, plastic artists and some modern composers the latter, though there is an overlap and it is known that carefuly controlled dosages of both types of drugs ingested at different stages along a trip can provide astounding results. It is said, for example, that Schoenberg and Berg both used combinations of these drugs made by a well known German drug manufacturer. We doubt it, but not based on their works. More a question of timing, though there is the argument that while under the influence of some combinations of these types of drugs users can visit the past in hallucinations (which can of course be real) or that people from the past are actually from the present but halluncinated into the past.

Anyway, Stoker claims he received this from a scientist who had worked with a user of grillo. The user, it is claimed, overdosed and died. Now this is clearly bogus for several reasons. First of all, as all cogent readers are aware, grillo was discovered by a former student of Schultes in use by some seldom-seen Amazon forest people who claimed it made them invisible (Isa Capybara, Fucked up on pseudo-Dasyprocta fuliginosa gut juice with some wild-ass indians, J. Nat. Prod. (Lloydia), 32: 305-314). It is not known whether it is possible to die from an overdose, since when used to excess the user simply vanishes. As in disappears. But the paper gives a different origin to the drug and also claims that people overdose and die using it. That seems unlikely.

The other reason to doubt the validity of the paper is the language usage. Clearly the author attempts to make the reader believe he (or she) is a street person of modest education with style and grammar deficiencies that are neither studied nor strictly streetish. And clearly Chevy the Scientist is no scientist. More likely a hospital orderly more attuned to bedpans than drug studies. Since scientist is capitalized, it is clearly a ceremonial title, perhaps a cargo cult sort of attachment. And of course whenever the government comes into the discussion it is via the ubiquitous and ambiguous "they." Finally note that this paper is less about the properties of these drugs than their effects through the eyes of a user.

So why was our own Maurice Stoker taken in? Drugs perhaps, but consider this: in Spanish, grillo is cricket. And if one loses a single l, it becomes cricket in Portuguese. So where is the leg if the l disappears? Consecution? Maurice hints that the author has hallucinated himself into another existence and left this or sent it, one or the other. Maurice says sent, which implies that perhaps Nail is the real scientist, not a junkie street person but in transition as of the writing, and hallucinated Chevy the hospital orderly as a scientist, or perhaps the author was a scientist before hallucinating a new existence and is now a hospital orderly. We can never know, since with these sorts of drugs history is effectively rewritten. The US has been under the influence of a grillo-like drug since at least the late 1970s, probably longer, which explains how the country can be so out of touch with reality. The whole nation hallucinates its current existence, with the problem clear to anyone outside the hallucination; namely, the hallucination is a classic bad trip.

So in the interest of disinterested science, we print the paper with the proviso that grillo means cricket and it is known that Maurice is a great fan of Trobiand Cricket (and will be a broadcast announcer for the televised 2008 world coconut finals). But he also belongs to a cargo cult associated with irrational worship of the Federal Reserve and market fluctations. So a grain of salt etc.

The Editors