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09-01-2012
The Gospel of Wealth: Towards a New Generation of American Consumership By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2011
Rick Perry leads Baal worshippers in prayer meeting By Pig Bodine M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
02-01-2011
A Film Too Far: The Battle of the Strait of Hormuz By Jim Chaffee
08-01-2010
Maurice Stoker quasireviews The Vicious Circulation of Dr. Catastrophe: A Polemical Ensemble by Kane X. Faucher By Maurice Stoker
06-01-2010
Boozer Allan Hamilton Justifies the Tea Party By Boozer Allan Hamilton
04-15-2010
Keith Olbermann Freaks Out Pig Bodine By Pig Bodine
06-15-2009
Saving California: Secession and the Reagan Scheme By Pig Bodine
05-15-2009
Maurice Stoker on Tom Bradley's Even the Dog Won't Touch Me By Maurice Stoker
12-15-2008
Two Glad Tidings from The Marshall By Marshall Smith
11-01-2008
Sarah Palin's Party of God By Maurice Stoker
09-15-2008
Double-Ended Dildos Manufactured at Cosmodrome By Kane X. Faucher
07-15-2008
At the Airport By Tom Bradley
05-01-2008
Building the Perfect Weapon By Thomas Sullivan
04-01-2008
CNBC Wins Pequod Institute Award for Excellence in High School Journalism By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
03-01-2008
Pig Bodine's Funky Financial Cooze Network Topological Finance for Aging Bald Dudes By Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2007
Un Mensaje Navideño del Director General Por Sandra Ramos Rossi
Christmas Parades are a Deadly Derangement of Culture and other Seasonal Asides by Kane X. Faucher
11-01-2007
Euphotan, Protoplasmic Flash, and their Properties by Nail, with commentary by Chevy the Scientist
10-01-2007
Suggested reading, Universitatis Merdalina Literature 734.5, Advanced Topics in Mathematical Literature: Pseudo-British/American/Pidgin English Literature, Tensor Products of Novels and Poetry for Quasi-Conformal Plagiarism in Modern Genre and its Relationship to Sexual Identity and Morphisms by Maurice Stoker
08-01-2007
The Unexamined Life in Hell: Peregrinations Across The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2007
Presidential Politics in the Year of the Toad by Boozer Allan Hamilton Ph.D.
04-01-2007
An Eleventh Tonkin Scenario by Donald Dickerson
03-01-2007
The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
12-01-2006
Maurice Stoker On Writing a Prize Winning Best Seller by Maurice Stoker
11-01-2006
¿Study says lack of talent? by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
08-01-2006
US Cracks International Terrorist Ring by Maurice Stoker
06-01-2006
Pig Bodine Solves the US Immigration and Education Dilemmas in One Blow by Pig Bodine M.S., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA
05-01-2006
Maurice Stoker Anent Two Errors in Thomas Pynchon’s Mason and Dixon by Maurice Stoker
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The Second Annual Howard Littlefield Boosterism Award for Economic Forecasting Awarded to Boozer Allan Hamilton

Awarded by Pig Bodine, M.Sc., Ph.D., BM2, BEM, MAD, MDMA

Sandwich Island Pig

For years I have been in awe of Allan Hamilton; an unappreciated genius laboring in the trenches. He presents papers at conferences to choruses of boos, Bronx cheers and profanity as if he were an academic version of Karen Findley. Of course, his theatricality is not the norm in the staid world of econometrics and economic forecasting, but his grasp of the fine points of semimartingales on tensor products of Hilbert and Banach manifolds as models for economic activity, home to nonlinear filters and predictors as the basis for his methods of building economic indicators and performing statistical inference on semimartingales, has put him decades, nay centuries ahead of his colleagues in predicting economic behavior. I use the word predict versus forecast because he predicts with the precision of one working in celestial mechanics.

Unfortunately, his methods are so arcane in their mathematical formalism that only a handful have the foggiest notion of what he is up to. Those who do understand him find his work exceedingly controversial, focusing on problems usually swept under the carpet by orthodox economic preachers. Most controversial of all is tying modern mathematical economics to unanswerable questions in the foundations of set theory, particularly to questions regarding the existence of very large infinities: inaccessible cardinal numbers whose existence reaches beyond the independence results of Paul Cohen and Kurt Gödel.

If not for the amazing precision and accuracy of the predictions of his models, he would be completely ignored. Even with experimentally verified results unique in a discipline akin to religious dogma torn asunder with irreconcilable debates unamenable to outside settlement by experiment, he is largely ignored. This would be equivalent to physicists ignoring relativity or quantum mechanics because they are weird. But this is inevitable in formalism in which filters are borrowed from probabilistic estimation theory, ultrafilters from set theory and filtrations from algebra, all with different meanings even though they end up mixed into a wild stew where they merge, with estimation filters built from algebraic filtrations behind which lurk countably complete nonprincipal ultrafilters. Worse, compact cardinals come into play with measures defined on massive languages depending on the existence of measureable cardinals.

Add to this his phenomenal appearance, weighing in at over four hundred pounds yet only five feet tall, rumored to have eschewed baths and showers since sometime in 1990 on a bet, consuming a diet mainly of various forms of ethanol, Haitian rum during the time spent teaching at Universite d'Etat d'Haiti (UEH) and now the famous artisanal cachaças of Minas (hence the nickname Boozer), and you have a legend in the making.

He teaches economics at Universidade Federal de Minas Gerais (UFMG) and has an appointment with Instituto de Matemática Pura e Aplicada in Rio de Janeiro. He continues to edit the journal he started while at UEH, Économie politique sans merde, a standard for nonstandard publications outside the mainstream, though the name will shortly be changed to Econometria sem bosta.

Nothing can you prepare you for your first glimpse of this towering intellect as he climbs to the podium wearing a threadbare suit handed down from a long line of Haitian voodoo practitioners, barely able to stand, reeking of body odor, alcohol and other unidentified molecular concentrations sufficiently dense to penetrate the apperception barrier, a floating gumbo of olfaction permeating the audience to the effect of yells of "You stink" as groups flee the room, leaving only those most resolved to hear what Boozer has to say. A room sparsely populated by academics wearing gas masks is often the result.)

Nonetheless, of all the economists in the world, only his theories can be labeled scientific, since they alone lead to testable hypotheses, predictions and theoretical corrections. Now we are seeing the ripened fruits of this work.

Among his triumphs have been his analysis of the periodicity of crime in the US, his work on the problem of largeness in market economics, his theory that ties the very existence of viable economic measurements and controls to the foundations of mathematics and set theory, and his proof that legal structures regulating social behavior can impede or entirely destroy free markets via his so-called completeness theorem, often (inanely) compared to Godel's completeness theorem for first-order logic.

Boozer promises a multipart technical survey of his theory which we intend to publish in this journal. But there is the difficulty of his attitude towards time and promises, besides the sobriety question. And there is also the mathematical problem: few have the requisite mathematical preparation to understand his work not yet appreciated outside a small circle of intellectual elite far beyond the typical economists working on the fringes of standard ceremonial magic. But he promises to be gentle with the reader.